M arriage is easy and extremely difficult at the same time. On one hand, it's as easy as choosing someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. On the other hand, it's as difficult as choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with. How to have a good marriage is often a question that pops up once the honeymoon period is over and the real work begins.
Any relationship will experience conflict at some point. However, there is a point at which the intensity rises to the point that it becomes emotionally, and occasionally even physically, consuming. Understanding what your difficulties are and how to express them is the first step in resolving problems in a relationship. Many materials are available to assist you in learning how to cope with conflict. Using these tools may help you and your spouse maintain a strong bond.
Whatever occurs, remember that your spouse is most likely trying to help you. Even if they irritate you to no end, their intentions are most likely good. Yes, assuming makes a fool of you and me. Regardless of the outcome, you must preserve the premise that your spouse — however imperfect and unpleasant they may appear at times — had the best interests at heart. Assuming your spouse is doing their utmost reduces the likelihood of blame and disappointment. And, since you know you both have each other's best interests at heart, there will be an active involvement to address challenges as they emerge. Remember that "doing your best" does not imply perfection; it simply means that you are giving the circumstances all you have at the time.
In a marriage, independence is deemed "very crucial". We must first be happy in order to be happy in a relationship. That is, after all, the cornerstone to a happy partnership. With this in mind, wives and husbands must continue to set aside time for themselves, pursue personal interests, and spend time apart in general.
Not only does time apart make the heart grow fonder, but it also allows us to reconnect with our spirituality, re-establish our sense of ourselves, and keep track of our particular preferences, ambitions, and successes.
On the flip side, being reliant reduces your determination and capacity to go ahead as a free thinker.
It is a well known fact that familiarity breeds contempt. Whether it is due to familiarity, falling out of love, or something else— Folks treat their spouses much worse than they would treat strangers, which is an awful reality. Retrain yourself to treat your partner with reverence.
Allow each other to forgive each other. Marriage is a lengthy commitment, and unsavory things will inevitably occur. Every spouse (including you!) makes errors and mistreats their partner from time to time. You must be able to forgive and move on from your spouse's wrongdoings (within reason). Remember this for the next moment where you might need forgiveness.
Criticism, scorn, defensiveness, and obstructionism, according to a marital therapist and researcher John Gottman, Ph.D., are severe risks to a marriage. The more damaging behaviors a couple participates in, the more prone they are to divorce. His decades of study and engagement with couples have shown that happily married couples always know how to quarrel without being aggressive and accept responsibility for their behavior. They are much more likely to react swiftly to each other's requests to make amends and restore their relationship following a disagreement.
Can you recall the last time that you held hands with your partner? As unlikely as it may seem, it is all too easy to slip away from this act of affection. Have you ever attempted to have a disagreement while holding hands? When you're holding hands, it's tough to be angry with someone. That's because physical touch communicates well enough. It is often more effective than words and reminds you that it’s you and your partner vs the issue, not you vs your partner.
Typically, one partner enjoys physical connection more than the other, and they receive a poor reputation for it as if they just want sex. Instead, it suggests they have a profound connection, love, and demonstrate affection by touching one other first.
It makes a big difference to hold hands. Reach out to your partner and grab their hand in yours while you attempt your check-in. It can turn around the whole tone of the conversation.
The good news is that most couples do not need a complete renovation of their relationship; they only want reassurance that everything will be OK. Perhaps it's simply your way of life that sends you over a lot of bumps in the road, which can make anyone feel as if their relationship is on an unstable footing, even if it isn't. Here are a few tips to let you know how to have a good marriage even when you're doubting your relationship.
