I n today’s world with our extremely busy schedules, it does not come as a surprise that most of us struggle with being there for our friends in an effective way. This can be a difficult area to navigate as we grow older.
Here we have some helpful tips on how to become a better friend, so you don’t find yourself in situations where you are constantly feeling like you need to apologise to your friend for not being there.
Oftentimes, when our friends discuss their problems with us, our instant reaction to that is to come up with solutions to their problems. This in turn, does not truly end up helping our friends since their reason for coming to you with their problem is to just vent. The best thing you can do in these situations is to just listen to them so that they feel heard.
If you struggle with identifying whether they want solutions or just want you to offer a good listening ear, you can simply ask your friend. The question can be something like: “Do you want me to offer solutions to your problem or do you just want me to listen?”. This can significantly impact your conversations in a good way.
It is easier for us to tell ourselves not to speak up when we feel like we need something from our friends or when we feel like something they said or did hurt us. However, keeping our thoughts and feelings bottled up only results in resentment, passive aggressiveness, and distance. While we may feel like we are doing them a favour and avoid confrontation, it becomes a hurdle in the friendship. Communicating with your friend openly is bound to make the relationship stronger where both of you will know how to meet each other’s needs. This will also make you feel like your friend has your back.
All of us can mess up sometimes which could end up hurting our friends, be it intentionally or unintentionally. However, realising that we did something wrong is the first step towards correction and then owning up to our mistake is what makes someone a good friend. Being able to apologise is an extremely good quality one can have especially when it comes to friends. Knowing that your friend is not selfish and does not let their ego get in the way of their friendship shows how healthy a relationship is. This is why being able to say “I am sorry” will help you become a much better friend.
It is extremely important for us to be there for our friends when they are feeling down and are going through a bad patch in their life but that’s not all. It is also very crucial that we are there for our friends during their celebrations. Being there to praise them when they achieve things in their life and making them feel like you are proud of them is also a very important aspect of friendship. This is because not all of us are lucky enough to have supportive families and our friends act as our only support system.
Life tends to get in our way and we might not regularly be in touch with our friends but it is still very important to just reach out occasionally and ask them how they are doing. Chances are, they might not be doing well and our text might help them talk about their problem and take some of their burden off. This will show your friend that you are available and there for them. It is also important to remember that our friends may be struggling with mental health problems and are not reaching out to avoid feeling like a burden. Take out the time to keep up with your friends even if you sometimes feel like you don't have the time.
We may not be able to understand and relate to all of our friends’ problems but that does not mean that we start being insensitive towards them and not provide our friends with the support they need. It is always best to try to understand where they are coming from and to let them vent out about their issues regardless of how unimportant or petty they may sound to you. Know that at times they may not be able to relate to your problems as well sometimes but it is a give and take relationship which requires both parties to be empathetic towards each other.
We hope now you know how to become a better friend for your loved ones!
